The Onion reports that Claritin has developed a solution to allergy season:
…a flamethrower capable of incinerating whatever is causing one’s allergies……the product is available in either a regular 25-foot or an Extra Strength 50-foot jet of fire—ideal for eliminating ragweed, trees, grasses, and entire mold-ridden homes.
However, The Onion is more likely to be an accurate news source than Facebook, where more and more U.S. Residents go for news.
And Onion says that FIFA is awarding the US the World Cup matches for 2015, so we need to keep the skies clear. Burn early.
Perfect for basement moisture management.
Don’t forget the removal of spider webs under the eaves of the house…
Don’t read it often, but gotta love the Onion …