By Mike DeGrosky

As I was applying to be a mentor for the next round of the IAWF mentoring program, I reflected on what a great member benefit the program is, one that is valuable to mentees and mentors alike.

This article is first published in Wildfire Magazine – read the full edition.

Eric Evenson reinforces this in his article, in which he describes his mentorship experience with his mentee, Max Levy. Evenson is the science communications specialist for the North Atlantic Fire Science Exchange. Levy was working on a wildland fire hand crew for the state of Idaho when the two were randomly matched through the IAWF. Evenson describes how he and Levy immediately made a deep and surprisingly personal connection.

I think of mentoring as an act of helping people draw out, reinforce, or affirm their ideal selves and it was fun to read about Evenson and Levy’s relationship that grew out of the IAWF program.

I am increasingly interested in the experiences of mentees, because that perspective seems to be less prevalent. A quick review of the leadership literature reveals that mentoring programs are mostly talked about from the mentors’ perspectives. Coincidentally, I have had conversations with friends and colleagues contemplating whether or not to seek a mentor, which led me to start thinking about what advice I should offer a person seeking a mentor. I knew what advice I had offered in the past but also wanted to see what the current wisdom is among the experts.

I unexpectedly found a fascinating article on the National Institutes of Health website, summarizing the book The Science of Effective Mentorship in STEMM, edited by Angela Byars-Winston and Maria Lund Dahlberg. I also discovered a cool resource called Mentoring Statistics You Need To Know – 2025 by Grace Winstanely with the organization Mentorloop.

I would counsel any person seeking a mentor to have a solid idea of their needs and motivations beforehand.

Evenson’s Wildfire article, combined with my foray into current thinking on mentoring and mentorship, helped me focus on four key pieces of advice to offer anyone thinking about the benefits of having a mentor.

First, know what you are looking for from a mentoring relationship before seeking a mentor. Are you looking for psychological and emotional support? Help with problem solving? A role model?

Career guidance? Help with goal setting? Skill development? Sponsorship? While mentoring is often idealized, one does not have to look very deeply into the popular business and leadership media to learn that mentees are often left disappointed by the experience. Unsatisfying mentorships are often rooted in the fact that the mentor and the mentee had different expectations of what the relationship might achieve. Knowing that, I would counsel people seeking mentors to have solid ideas of their needs and motivations beforehand.

I recently experienced this when I asked a friend and former colleague to mentor me in an area in which I want to update my knowledge and gain some confidence. My friend, who I expected to readily accept, instead had questions, including “What do you hope to accomplish?” and “Why me?” We typically approach potential mentors because they have life experience and acquired knowledge that can help us grow and accomplish goals. The catch is that experienced and knowledgeable people we trust and admire are very often busy, and busy people want to know that your request will be an effective use of their time. Anyone approaching a potential mentor should be ready to make a case for the desired mentoring arrangement.

I must admit that my friend’s screening questions surprised me, but I soon thought “That’s so smart; my friend has a big job, a young family, lots of interests, and not much spare time.” I imagine that not only did my friend want to make good use of limited time, but also to know that my friend was the right person and would not let me down. I’m glad I was ready to make my case, and I have a new mentor!

My current mentor is 20 years my junior, so the second piece of advice I would offer is to embrace the possibility of mentoring relationships that may seem to be unconventional. In my case, the conventional wisdom that mentors are always the senior individual is not the case. I’d offer that any extended, reciprocal, relationship can evolve into an effective mentoring partnership and that such a partnership can prove mutually beneficial. I think it’s important to remember that the research tells us that most mentorships do not result from a formal ask but evolve from other relationships.

My third piece of advice has been, and will remain, to purposefully seek mentors in both technical disciplines and the interpersonal and human relations dimensions of our work. It is important to understand that the two may not overlap. In other words, you may need more than one mentor.

And finally, I would counsel that anyone, regardless of organizational role or level, can benefit from having a mentor. I always enjoy encountering leaders who are simultaneously mentoring and being mentored. While we often think of mentors as experienced senior leaders and mentees as up-and-comers with potential, the research I’ve seen consistently shows that senior leaders benefit from being mentored.

Mentoring is a vital leadership and career development tool, as reflected by its popularity. According to Mentorloop, most US Fortune 500 companies, including all US Fortune 50 companies, have mentoring programs and 76 per cent of people surveyed think mentors are important.

IAWF members are so fortunate to have access to a formal, industry specific mentoring program as a free member benefit, and I hope members are taking full advantage.

Find more information on the IAWF mentoring program.

Mike DeGrosky is a student of leadership, lifelong learner, mentor and coach, sometimes writer, and recovering fire chief. He taught for the Department of Leadership Studies at Fort Hays State University for 10 years. Follow Mike via LinkedIn.